How I Stopped Feeling Like I Need to Fix Myself

For the longest time, I felt like I was a never-ending project.

I was never happy with where I was. One week it was my appearance, the next it was my friendships, then my hobbies, my personality, my skin, the way my face looked, my productivity… even my success.

It felt like no matter what I did, there was always something “wrong” with me. And honestly? It was exhausting. I was constantly trying to fix myself, but no matter how much I worked, the finish line just kept moving further away.

But here’s the plot twist:

Fast forward a year, and I never feel like this anymore.

✨ I don’t feel the constant need to fix myself.
✨ I don’t spiral into self-criticism every time I have an off day.
✨ And I finally feel genuinely happy with where I am.

So, what changed?

I built self-trust.

What is self-trust (and why it’s your hidden superpower)?

I first came across the idea of self-trust back when I studied psychology at university, but I never really got it until I started living it.

Here’s how I see it now:
Self-trust is your ability to follow through with intention, no matter what your brain is screaming at you.

It means you keep your promises to yourself even if your default settings are pulling you in another direction.

It means you do the thing you said you’d do, not because you “feel motivated,” but because you trust yourself to have your own back.

It’s like a superpower. When you have self-trust, you don’t need to “fix” yourself anymore, because you’re no longer battling yourself. You’re in partnership with yourself.

How I stopped feeling like I needed to fix myself

Here’s the exact process I followed to shift my mindset and finally get off the hamster wheel of “not enough.”

1. I built self-trust

This was the deep, subconscious work that everything else rested on. Without it, I’d just keep slipping back into old cycles of self-criticism.

Quick win for you 👉 Start small. Pick one tiny promise to yourself (like drinking a glass of water in the morning) and keep it every day for a week. That’s the seed of self-trust.

2. I got to the bottom of my habits

Not just the obvious ones (like skipping workouts or scrolling too much), but the really specific ones. I looked at the gap between who I was being and who I actually wanted to be.

Quick win for you 👉 Journal on: “What’s one thing I do every day that doesn’t align with the version of me I want to become?” Awareness is everything.

3. I developed systems to stay consistent, no matter what

This step is non-negotiable. Because here’s the thing: If you can’t stay consistent with being the version of yourself you want to be, you’ll end up back in the guilt loop… and guilt is what fuels the whole “I need to fix myself” cycle.

Quick win for you 👉 Make it easy. Remove friction from the habits you want to keep and add friction to the ones you want to drop. For example: lay out your workout clothes the night before, or delete that one app that triggers your self-sabotage spiral.

Final thoughts

You don’t need to keep “fixing” yourself. You’re not broken. What you need is self-trust, because once you build that, everything else falls into place.

If you’d love support with building self-trust and rewiring the subconscious patterns that keep you stuck, I’d love to help. 💕

✨ You can book a free call with me below, and we’ll map out how to shift your mindset and create a plan for moving forwards.