Why Most Women Never Follow Through on the Version of Themselves They Want to Be
We’ve all been there. You imagine this amazing version of yourself—the one who wakes up early, drinks water first thing, meditates for 10 minutes, crushes your work goals, and somehow still has time to look cute doing it all. You’re motivated, inspired, and for a hot second… you think, “Yes! I can totally be her.”
But fast forward a few days, or weeks, and somehow, you’re back to scrolling Instagram in bed, skipping meals, bingeing Netflix, and feeling like a total failure.
You’re not alone.
Here’s the thing: it’s not about motivation. And it’s definitely not about discipline. Those are the surface-level fixes we’re all taught to rely on, and they only get you so far. The real reason most women never follow through on the version of themselves they want to be is because they’re running on their old default settings.
What Do I Mean by Default Settings?
Your brain is like a home computer. It’s running programs in the background all day without you even thinking about it. And the problem? The programs that run automatically were installed years ago.
They’re designed to keep you comfortable, even if “comfortable” means staying stuck in habits, thought patterns, and routines that don’t serve you.
So even when you’re motivated to be your highest self, your brain quietly nudges you back to what feels familiar: procrastinating, avoiding discomfort, self-sabotaging, or overthinking.
That’s why “just trying harder” almost never works. You can’t outrun a program that’s been installed at a subconscious level.
Rewire Your Brain, Don’t Rely on Motivation
Here’s the secret: you have to do the deep work to rewire your brain’s default settings.
It’s about creating a new comfort zone, one where acting like your highest self isn’t a daily battle, it’s effortless.
Think of it like this: if your brain is used to spiralling into self-doubt whenever you try something new, you can’t just motivate yourself out of it. You have to prove to your brain, over and over, that it’s safe to operate differently. That looks like:
Consistent small actions: Act like the person you want to be—even when it feels uncomfortable. Skip the big, unsustainable overhauls. Tiny daily wins accumulate.
Shift your environment: Remove triggers that pull you into old habits and add cues that support your new way of being.
Change your self-talk: Notice when your brain criticizes you and respond with curiosity instead of shame.
Over time, these small, repeated actions rewrite your internal “default settings.” Your new way of being becomes familiar, comfortable, and eventually, automatic.
Why This Matters
Once you stop relying on motivation or discipline and start rewiring your brain’s defaults, following through on your goals becomes natural. You stop falling off track, you stop feeling guilty, and, most importantl, you actually become the version of yourself you’ve been dreaming about.
Because the truth is, the version of yourself you want to be isn’t out of reach. It’s already inside you—it just needs the right environment, habits, and mindset to emerge effortlessly.
Your Next Steps
If you’re ready to stop self sabotage and finally act like the person you want to become, what are you waiting for?
Working with a coach (like me1) will help you to identify deep, subconcious blockers that are pulling you back and stay accountable with making real, lasting change,
As a thank you for reading this blog post, I want to offer you 50% off your first paid coaching call. Simple reference “BLOG POST” in our discovery call to get your discount.
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